an EKG for my heart that beats...a re-birth for my heart that counts.

I WAS BAPTIZED TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i can't even tell you how happy i am!!! so happy that my mom got a nice little phone call at midnight because i was SO excited when i got home after my baptism! okay, but let me start from the beginning:

we started our group fast on friday - and friday night was so awesome. one of the girls, callie, and i decided that we wanted to have a worship time after we did some evangelism, so her and i, along with linea (one of the other students) and john (one of our staff members) went to a nearby beach and john played the guitar and we had a prayer time -- for over TWO HOURS. i seriously thought we were there for a half hour, and all of a sudden john said that it was past 11pm...times like those are the best. it was such a good way to spend our friday night, particularly while we're fasting.

on saturday, a few of us went to brisbane, which was SO FUN!!!! i love getting out and seeing different areas of australia and, being a city, brisbane was definitely different. it was good to be in a new environment, though...there was so much to do and see there. we spent some time shopping (because there was like three million stores in a one mile radius) and then we walked down to the pier and through the botanical gardens, which were BEAUTIFUL. we saw FIVE brides as we walked along the pier. i felt like i was actually inside of a bridal magazine. always the pedestrian, never the bride.

it was a really cool city, though...it reminded me a lot of vancouver, with a lot of really tall buildings right along the water - it was a really nice because it had the landscape of the city without the traffic. i would have preferred going there when i wasn't fasting, but that's alright. oh, this was fun, though...get this: as we were getting in the van to go back to the sunny coast, an employee from the donut shop we were parked in front of ran outside and handed me not one box of donuts, but FOUR. they were closing and she wanted to give us the leftover donuts from the day. thanks, but i'm fasting. i don't even like donuts, but i can't even tell you how devastating that was. thanks for the temptation, satan...seriously...four boxes of donuts. free. in my hands. and i had to sit next to them the entire way home. so that was a nice little character building activity.

on sunday afternoon, we went back to one of my favorite places: noosa. it's this incredible beach and little town with shops and restaurants lining the cobblestone street. it was father's day and they were having a jazz festival, so there was live music (and lots of people) all over the place. they get some big names there: jack johnson had played the previous night ... it's seriously the greatest little town, i love it there and am so happy i was able to get back there once more before i leave.

this week, our lectures were on missions. we had a pastor from byron bay (another amazing little town that i love) come speak for the week, and he is INCREDIBLE. if vgbc ever has a couple thousand bucks laying around to get this guy over to glen ellyn, DO IT. his name is neville, and i'm absolutely convinced that i've never met a bigger genius in my life. i pretty much just stared at him in total awe - i don't understand how he can fit so much information into his brain. history facts, bible verses, theories, covenants...the works. this guy knows it all and he is absolutely fascinating. it was an amazing week -- i learned so much about christianity, missions, the bible, third world countries....i mean, this guy REALLY fit a lotttttttttt of stuff into one week. i would love to just sit down with him and pick his brain for about three days. he's so smart and so interesting. have i gotten that into your heads by now? he's really smart.

okay, so i guess i've been having these chest pain things...it's fine. one thing i've found since i've been here is that i just don't stress anymore. it's so nice!!! we leave soon for jakarta and are having problems with our visas...one of the girls' passport expired and she may not be able to come...we had a prayer time for our post-ywam lives and i am one of only two people here that doesn't know what i'm going to do when i get home...anything that would reguarly cause me to freak out and worry all day and night just don't do that to me anymore. i've found a lot of peace in God since i've been here and i am just certain that His plan will always work out, so there is absolutely no reason for me to worry or get all crazy about things. it's so freeing to live life that way!

okay, but i've been having these chest pains. i've been ignoring them, except on sunday night they kept me up and threw in shortness of breath, so i decided that maybe i should have a doctor look into my condition a bit? i was actually in a lot of pain, so i went to the dr, where he immediately hooked me up for an EKG (ecocardiogram? or something like that? i'm not sure.). so here's where i'm at: laying on a cold exam room table with cords hooked up to me from head to toe with a crazy australian nurse whose eyes looked in two different directions and my mom is REALLY, REALLY far away. i'm not gonna lie, it's not the best i've felt since i've been here. anyways, they took some tests and it turns out that we still don't know what is wrong with me, but we believe my actual heart is okay - so hearing that was enough for me to put it aside and not let concern over chest pains control my life. i'm starting to feel a little bit better...i'm going to be in touch with the doctor next week if i still feel like i have a 29427342 pound weight on my chest and i can't breathe. but other than that, no worries here! the doctor was so nice, and when he heard i was from ywam he didn't charge me at all...hello, HUGE blessing!

okay, so blah blah blah the week was really good I GOT BAPTIZED TODAY!!! i had been baptized at village green when i was 12 or so, but i've lived a lot of years since i was 12, and this experience has changed me so much that a baptism was the perfect way to publicly express that. two other girls were baptized today, as well, so a group gathered at the beach and we had the pastor of goodlife church (the service we attend on sunday nights - he's a pastor from colorado and he is AMAZING. his services are the one thing i consistently look forward to every single week) come to baptize us. we each spoke a little bit about what it meant to us (well, i spoke and cried), and then we went into the ocean one by one to be baptized. i had my mentor, bridget, come in with me and it was just SO INCREDIBLE!!!!! i can't even tell you how awesome it was! i went into the water and it was pretty cloudy out and pretty quiet, and then after i was submerged, everyone on the beach was just screaming and cheering and i'm not even kidding you - the sun was completely out and shining by the time i was out of the water and back on the beach. it was so awesome! it all meant so much to me and i just seriously felt like a new person once i got out of the water. it was so cool. so, so, so cool. i have pictures. and it was videotaped. it was so cool. afterwards, i was running errands and i just found myself walking around with the biggest smile on my face...probably looking like a total creepo to everybody else. i just FEEL different and feel like it was a new birth. it was just so awesome to have the chance to be with the people that have really been here with me through all of this, and to speak about and physically express a new start. i was more than just a little rough around the edges when i came here, but i know i've found my identity in God and i know i'm not who i was...and don't want to be! yay!

a couple of us planned a very impromptu trip to sydney for the weekend, so we're jet-setting there tomorrow and will come back to the sunny coast on sunday (in time for my favorite sunday night service, of course). i'm so excited to have the chance to see sydney while i'm here...we'll just be backpacking there and will be going to hillsongs church service on saturday which i'm SO pumped for! (hillsong has a worship college here in australia and they have the most incredible songs everrrrrrrrr. i've been wanting to visit their church or college to experience their worship service, but didn't think i'd be able to get over there. well...i am. and i can't wait!).

we leave for jakarta in ONE WEEK. yeah. one week. i can't believe it. we still haven't received our visas, but, again, i'm not worried about it. we were able to talk to neville about our trip for a while, and since he's been EVERYWHERE (he did long term missions in siberia...i'm especially thankful i wasn't baptized THERE...he had to cut a piece of ice out of a lake and conduct baptisms there. ouch.), and he gently reminded us that we'd be arriving in indonesia during ramadan - the one month of fasting from sunrise to sunset for muslims. apparantly we should expect them to be a bit crabby during that time. who's excited for that!?!?

actually, i'm getting really pumped for outreach and our team is just blending together perfectly. we've raised about $1,700 for the indonesian bibles we want to buy while we're there, so that's encouraging. we still don't know many details, but it'll all work out when we get there. i have to pack a 40lb bag for two months, so if there's anything to stress about: that'd be it.

just kidding. i can do it. no, dad, seriously. i'm embracing simplicity!

so this will be our last week of lectures. on tuesday, we have to say goodbye to leanne, one of our staff members who has been living in this house with us. she's been so much fun, and will be going back home to ohio after coming here for her DTS in january, and staying to staff ours. when i leave for indo, i'll have to say goodbye to the two staff members that i've really been the closest with: john and bridget. john will be going to europe to lead prayer weeks on other ywam bases, and then will be moving to new york for a little bit. he's an aussie, so i cannot wait to see how he fares there! bridget will be in montana for a family wedding when i get back to australia, so i won't get to see her then. i'm not thinking about that yet.

alright, well thanks for reading all of this! it was fun to write it! i'm doing really well and just have found so much joy in my life. i think that's the one thing about really having that relationship with God -- there is so much joy there. i can't believe how much i laugh in one day. like, it's embarrassing. when i step back and look at my behavior throughout the day: i laugh an insane amount of times. and i'm at peace with the things i cannot control...i'm learning SO much...i'm seeing the world, climbing mountains, backpacking through the country: that, right there, is total joy.

mallory joy.

i love you and miss you. so much.