i think the best stories are the God stories - the ones that describe what He is doing in us and through us. the powerful, the emotional, the life-changing. those stories are the ones that really get me excited. which may be why my aspirations to become a journalist covering breaking headlines to millions throughout the world quickly died...and i now get total happiness through sharing God stories on my online blog to, like, 35 readers. tops.
just as a successful journalist may find boredom in world peace (WHAT would they cover on the evening news if everybody was getting along?), i found little to write about in a time of some personal pain, confusion, and doubt...and so i didn't.
one of the reasons i love keeping this blog so much is that it gives me a chance to share the incredible things God is doing in my life and in the lives of those around me. i feel so blessed to have another amazing story to share EVERY single time i update this. so, in all honesty, i haven't updated this because i haven't felt anything completely joyful to share. the truth is, the past couple of months have been somewhat dark, extremely overwhelming and altogether challenging. leaving my family left me with a feeling of what can only be described as a very raw pain. while the spirit-led part of me knew i had to come back here and follow God's plan for my life, the human side of me was - and, to some degree, still is - aching.
the evening of november 15th is one that still makes me feel sick to think about. the day was filled with tears as i said goodbye to my church family and close friends. my sister and i had to be peeled away from each other as the silent tears turned into painful sobs. i kept my eyes on her through the car's rear window for as long as i could until we were all the way down the street. and then i could feel all eyes on me at the airport as i cried the entire way through the security line with my mom staying in the gated area until i was all the way through. when i landed in brisbane, australia, it was the first time in my three trips here that i actually questioned whether or not i should be here.
why was i leaving a family that i love SO intensely and that needed me so much? why was i leaving a job...a paying job...that i was completely in love with - working for a beautiful woman of God that would let me take time out of the day to just cry on her shoulder!? why was i leaving friends that i needed and a place that i knew valued my presence, especially during this time?
why did i come back to the other side of the world?
and i think i had been waiting for a big, clear answer to that question before i updated you all. i wanted to be able to admit i questioned my decision to come back here and THEN follow up with the incredible, living proof that my decision was confirmed.
i could tell you that the confirmation i've been wanting has still not come, though i trust it's on its' way.
i could tell you that, but it's not the truth. because God knows me. He knows what i needed. He knows that a little bit of confirmation regarding my decision to come back here would go a long way for me. and so, minutes before i planned to sit down and write an update that i didn't think would include one of those joyous, amazing stories, i did receive that confirmation.
it came in the form of an unspeakably generous financial blessing that not only came at a time when i was stressing about money, but came from a source that really spoke volumes in convincing me that i belong here - it made me feel like this is the place God had planned for me to be in this moment. they may as well have held up a sign saying "THIS IS WHERE YOU BELONG, MALLORY!" (although i'm much happier with the finances they provided rather than the sign.) it really was THAT confirming to me. this is the home God has given me right now. i'm where i should be. and i have been shown that i am a part of a family here on the sunshine coast that supports, encourages and loves me so much. this family, much like my immediate and church family at home, shows me what it means to be a part of God's Kingdom through their generosity, obedience and genuine love.
God is so good and has been bringing me great peace about being here. He has shown me in several little things each day that i am where i need to be, that i am needed here, and that He will bless me for my obedience to Him.
in writing this, i've been able to reflect on the past month and have seen countless "shining moments" that have led up to my much larger moment of confirmation. Praise God!
i was faced with a slightly unexpected expense when i arrived here. i realized that, unfortunately, having a car was more necessary than i'd thought. i spent a few days stressing about it and found a few cars for a couple thousand dollars.
the price tag was steep, but, of course, God ended up stepping in. two fellow DTS staffers are leaving the base and offered me their car for a blessing of a deal at $600. i am now the proud owner of a new-to-me '87 station wagon! i just adore her! it makes my life so much easier to have a car and makes the sunshine coast feel more like home. having a car gives me a bit more freedom and ownership of my life here and will make leading the school in january MUCH easier. i'm not thrilled about the added expense of paying for fuel and possible mechanic work for the poor, aging car, but God has paved the way so smoothly for me thus far, i know the provisions will continue to come.
it's been a busy month here as i prepare for staff training to begin on december 30. i have been blessed with a nine-person staff team, which is something i've been praying about for months. God has given me so much excitement for the school, which begins on january 11. i just know it is going to be an incredible time of healing and growth for all of the students and staff involved. we currently have 27 students coming from six different countries. i've been working to create the daily schedule for the school, book speakers, organize outings, plan the weekly evangelism opportunities and weekly small groups and begin praying over locations for the two month outreach trips. needless to say, i've been keeping pretty busy this past month!
unfortunately, this is a time of turnover at the base. some of my closest friends have recently left and are moving on to other ventures. there are always people coming and going in ywam, so while it will be hard to lose the presence of my good friends here, i'm excited about the new people we have coming in. i was blessed to have a big, american thanksgiving celebration with some of the other staff members that were orphaned for the holiday. being away from home during the holidays makes me even more appreciative of being a part of the body of Christ...because that means i've got real family here, too.
i'll keep you posted as the school approaches. i know that God will continue to do great things in my life that i am excited to update you on. and i have learned that even the little things are cause for big praise, because they are reminders that He is here. He is working. and He is always so good.
thank you for such a warm send-off. i love each and every one of you. so much!
and i think i had been waiting for a big, clear answer to that question before i updated you all. i wanted to be able to admit i questioned my decision to come back here and THEN follow up with the incredible, living proof that my decision was confirmed.
i could tell you that the confirmation i've been wanting has still not come, though i trust it's on its' way.
i could tell you that, but it's not the truth. because God knows me. He knows what i needed. He knows that a little bit of confirmation regarding my decision to come back here would go a long way for me. and so, minutes before i planned to sit down and write an update that i didn't think would include one of those joyous, amazing stories, i did receive that confirmation.
it came in the form of an unspeakably generous financial blessing that not only came at a time when i was stressing about money, but came from a source that really spoke volumes in convincing me that i belong here - it made me feel like this is the place God had planned for me to be in this moment. they may as well have held up a sign saying "THIS IS WHERE YOU BELONG, MALLORY!" (although i'm much happier with the finances they provided rather than the sign.) it really was THAT confirming to me. this is the home God has given me right now. i'm where i should be. and i have been shown that i am a part of a family here on the sunshine coast that supports, encourages and loves me so much. this family, much like my immediate and church family at home, shows me what it means to be a part of God's Kingdom through their generosity, obedience and genuine love.
God is so good and has been bringing me great peace about being here. He has shown me in several little things each day that i am where i need to be, that i am needed here, and that He will bless me for my obedience to Him.
in writing this, i've been able to reflect on the past month and have seen countless "shining moments" that have led up to my much larger moment of confirmation. Praise God!
i was faced with a slightly unexpected expense when i arrived here. i realized that, unfortunately, having a car was more necessary than i'd thought. i spent a few days stressing about it and found a few cars for a couple thousand dollars.
the price tag was steep, but, of course, God ended up stepping in. two fellow DTS staffers are leaving the base and offered me their car for a blessing of a deal at $600. i am now the proud owner of a new-to-me '87 station wagon! i just adore her! it makes my life so much easier to have a car and makes the sunshine coast feel more like home. having a car gives me a bit more freedom and ownership of my life here and will make leading the school in january MUCH easier. i'm not thrilled about the added expense of paying for fuel and possible mechanic work for the poor, aging car, but God has paved the way so smoothly for me thus far, i know the provisions will continue to come.
it's been a busy month here as i prepare for staff training to begin on december 30. i have been blessed with a nine-person staff team, which is something i've been praying about for months. God has given me so much excitement for the school, which begins on january 11. i just know it is going to be an incredible time of healing and growth for all of the students and staff involved. we currently have 27 students coming from six different countries. i've been working to create the daily schedule for the school, book speakers, organize outings, plan the weekly evangelism opportunities and weekly small groups and begin praying over locations for the two month outreach trips. needless to say, i've been keeping pretty busy this past month!
unfortunately, this is a time of turnover at the base. some of my closest friends have recently left and are moving on to other ventures. there are always people coming and going in ywam, so while it will be hard to lose the presence of my good friends here, i'm excited about the new people we have coming in. i was blessed to have a big, american thanksgiving celebration with some of the other staff members that were orphaned for the holiday. being away from home during the holidays makes me even more appreciative of being a part of the body of Christ...because that means i've got real family here, too.
i'll keep you posted as the school approaches. i know that God will continue to do great things in my life that i am excited to update you on. and i have learned that even the little things are cause for big praise, because they are reminders that He is here. He is working. and He is always so good.
thank you for such a warm send-off. i love each and every one of you. so much!
2 comments:
Mal, I love your blog, and your gift of getting down to the heart of it all in such a beautifully expressed way. Keep 'em coming!
Mallory,
I didn't realize you had a blog. Then again, you are a writer so I'm not surprised. It is exciting to read about what God is doing in and through you. We will really miss you at Christmas this year. But we know you are where God wants you and that's a good place to be.
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